Compressed
by RagnarokSkurai
Summary: In Time Compression, Squall is sent back to the Orphanage. Things change, don't they? Or maybe the point is they don't.


So this is Time Compression. Funny. I don't really know what I was expecting. Something other than this, obviously. _Time_ Compression, after all. I didn't expect it to be _my_ time. Anytime and anyplace in the universe, and this is where I pop out.

I knew where I was right away. This place hasn't changed at all. Or, in a sense, it has changed… it just hasn't changed yet. It will change. I know it. One day this roof will fall in and these walls will start to fall down. The wildflowers that Matron planted so carefully will have spread throughout the whole field. The lighthouse won't work anymore, and no one will live here. No sandcastles built on the beach, no children laughing and crying and whining and smiling. No children at all.

But that time is not now. Not anymore. _Now_ isn't now. Now is ten years ago.

Sweet Hyne.

I forgot how beautiful this place was. How huge it seemed. Stone walls to keep us in, stone walls that could seem like a prison, but no prison was ever this happy. This place was our world. When you're a child, a house can _be_ your whole world. The words 'Deling' and 'Galbadia' are just that - words. They don't really mean anything. Like death, and parents. Those words don't mean anything either. When you're a child, the world doesn't run on those things. The world is Matron and friends and Big Sis.

Ellone.

I never called her that. I don't think I even knew that was her name until the White SeeD came for her. And it didn't click until long after that. She was just Big Sis. Even Matron called her Sis. I guess when we get older, everything changes. Even our names. Although I'm willing to bet I was Squall from the very beginning. No cute baby names for me. I was always the exception.

Though, the exception is just there to prove the rule exists. I'm just another little quirk in this world. Another little piece of the chaos factor.

I don't remember it being this loud. Children are loud though. At least the cadets at Garden always are. And Hyne knows Selphie and Zell are anything but quiet. Guess they've never been quiet. Irvine isn't either. He's screeching and chasing a giggling Selphie all over the hill. Zell is sitting behind a tree stump and laughing too. Quistis is up on top of the hill, just watching them. The protector. Making sure no one gets hurt and no one breaks the rules. But she's smiling, and laughing a little too.

I'm no where to be found. Neither is Ellone or Seifer.

But do I want to see myself? It's one thing to remember, it's another thing entirely to be able to look your younger self in the face.

If I changed this place… if I changed that past while I was here, would that change the future? If I went and found younger-me, told him not to be so cold, not to be so distant… would he listen? Would I change? Would the future be different? Would maybe… would Seifer and Zell and I be friends, instead of people who just knew each other once upon a time?

I peek into one of the windows. I can hear Matron's voice from here, but I can't understand what she's saying. I peek in the window. Seifer is lying on his stomach on his bed, feet kicking furiously. I'm siting next to him in Ellone's lap. Matron is reading a story.

The curtains flutter back and forth in the wind, and I stand back a step, careful to let no one see me. It wouldn't do to be a strange man hanging around a child's orphanage. Matron is still a Sorceress, and I have no desire to fight with her here too.

Then I feel it. A small tugging, from the inside of me. Like when Shiva wants attention, or when you give someone Magic. Like something is leaving.

Time Compression is taking me somewhere – somewhen else.

"_Please just give me a little more time_."

That's always been my prayer. I don't really think wishing for anything will really get you anything, but sometimes I can't help it. Sometimes… sometimes a moment feels good enough to not want it to end. To not go back to the silence and coldness of before. I don't want to leave this place. The place where I remember true happiness.

Ellone's arms, Matron's lap. When I first junctioned Shiva, when I got Griever. Fiery kisses, and stolen embraces, and smiles and jokes. Happiness I thought I'd never have again. I've found the first two here. Maybe the last two as well.

Is it enough?


End file.
